screw hormones

i'm alone in our small 1 bedroom apartment.
i warned people i don't like to be left alone especially now that i'm hormonal.
people wouldn't listen.
see i have been crying for 2 hours because i am talking to my fortune plant and 2 sayotes that i see on top of the dining table.
there's nothing to do really.
i just wish i could buy something for myself. something that i think i deserve.

nobody knows what's in my mind.
even husband.
he tried to talk to me but i wouldn't say a word.
(still crying)

i tried to play scrabble with my sister in the hope that i'd feel not alone.
she won. because she luckily had a 7 letter word.
i feel better.

i'm this close from redeeming my free mabuhay miles to go somewhere. i have a free flight to somewhere in visayas or mindanao or any nearby asEAn countries. back and forth.
but i'm not really allowed to ride the plane because i might pop during the flight.

mum invited me to go to market market.
her best attempt to make me feel better.
i'd go, but i'd be more depressed knowing that when I do the grocery for husband and i, i have to stick to my limited list.

fuck hormones.

hormones defeated me again today.